Lost Sailors’ Story Questioned

In the past few days, two Hawaii women were rescued after their sailboat drifted for five months in the Pacific. After being picked up by a US ship and brought to port, the survivors detailed their ordeal: The mast and engine failed, and they began drifting in rough seas off Oahu.

Not long after their rescue, many sailing and naval experts began questioning their story. For instance, they had an Emergency Position Indicating Radio Beacon on the ship, but it was not turned on. They were also contacted at one point by another US ship and asked if they needed help, but reported they were not in danger.

Further complicating their story, the pair were also sighted at at the Kahala Mall when there were supposedly lost at sea, looking for doggie treats for the two canines they had on board. One dog likes peanut butter and banana biscuits and the other likes bacon-flavored doggie bones. “We’ve had a heck of a time finding these flavors on the Islands,” one of the sailors reportedly stated to a cashier at the Doggie Delectable Delights store in the Mall.

Two weeks later, the sailors were spotted parasailing on Hawaii’s Gold Coast near Diamondhead, a popular tourist area. Both were heard saying at various times, “Woooahhhh! Woaahhh! It’s too high! Bring me down! Bring me down!” The owner of the parasailing service said, “Often people don’t realize parasails can fly as high as 500 ft on a towline of 800 feet, or about the height of a 50 story building. Sometimes they get terrified once they are up there.”

I’ll update this story as more details emerge.

Why, Why, Why San Diego?

“I still can’t believe it,” Stan said.

I knew Stan from years ago. We lost touch when he moved to San Diego. Recently we ran into each other in LA.

“Why, why did the Chargers have to leave San Diego?” he cried.

“I know, it sucks.”

“And to Los Angeles, of all the God-forsaken places. No offense.”

“None taken. I’m used to it.”

“Can you imagine San Diego without an NFL team? It’s just not right. What’s wrong with a city and a team owner when they can’t meet in the middle and get things done?”

“Washington has been doing it for years.”

“You’re not helping.”

“Listen, I know how you feel. People love their hometown teams. Same thing happened in Cleveland. All those years I supported them, and one night they disappeared. I even scanned the missing persons website to see if they showed up. Next thing I know some people reported seeing them in Baltimore. Talk about getting ghosted. Not even a break-up letter, note, or even a text.”